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From: Emily McGuirk
Date: 14 May 2006
Time: 23:00:39 -0500
Remote Name: 208.49.141.10
1. While it sounds tempting, I do not really think there should be a test to screen marriages. It would not be ethical. What if the test was wrong? No matter how good they get it they could never make it perfect. What if couples choose to ignore because they are in love, but then use it later against each other and against working things out because they think they should have listened to the test. I think couples need to have their own test. They need to talk about things and situations before they marry so they have a plan at least. 2. One myth that the article dispels is that infidelity ends marriage most of the time. Dr. Glass's research indicates that more than half of marriages survive it. Also dispelled is the idea that something has to be going wrong for there to be an affair, which is often not the case. Even when marriages are happy and fulfilling, it is possible for people to look to others. 3. It is possible for one zinger to counteract 20 positive things because people tend to remember negative things more than positive. The hurt tends to stand out in our minds over the happy, so as problems escalate, all the good things can be blocked out of our minds. When you focus on the negative, you feel negative. 4. I think it is possible that physiological responses can occur with marital joy. Our bodies do release horomones when we are happy so it seems logical that satisfaction could be linked with how our bodies respond. I think it is ppossible for flooding of positive emotions to occur, but I think it is more difficult. I think it is easier for positive flooding to occur early on in the relationship where a couple is just enjoying the good things and they ignore or avoid conflict. It becomes more difficult as time goes on to view your partner through rose colored glasses. Note: Dr. Pettijohn, this article made me think of the psychologist on "Oprah" and her new book "Lies at the Alter" or something like that. I can't for the life of me think of her name right now, but I saw her on a show this past week talking about it and it sounded like a book you might want to add to your collection. It has over 200 questions you should ask your partner before marrying him or her. It sounded interesting.
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