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From: Monica
Date: 14 May 2006
Time: 21:58:21 -0500
Remote Name: 24.93.196.170
New Tools Help Gauge Marital Success. Randall Edwards. 1. I would never advocate a mandatory test for screening marriages, but it wouldn't be all bad for optional tests. Arranged marriages rely on astrological compatibility and it works out ok for them so it might work for us. The only requirement I would like to see is marriage training courses. If a couple did decide to take a test to determine the future of their relationship, maybe they should be required to take one of the conflict management and communication skills courses mentioned in the article. This way, they would learn or enhance valuable skills as well as solidify their relationship. Since couples would have just completed the course, they would be more likely to get promising outlooks on their relationship. This would then give them more hope for the future, better skills, and a happier relationship. 2. Common myths disspelled in this article were a) incompatible couples cannot have successful marriages, b) extramarital affairs are the result of problems in the marriage and will likely end the marriage, and c) volitile marriages are less likely to survive than peaceful unions. Happy, peaceful unions are not always enough to sustain a relationship. If the couple has communication problems or certain reactions to conflict, the bad can still outweigh the good even if it seems the opposite is true. Glass found that two thirds of marriages survived affairs so that excuse is out too. 3. Often times, small acts of kindness are constant in a relationship. They are small, but nonetheless, appreciated. They can make a big difference in a relationship and are a necessary part. However, if the couple still takes part in one of Markman's dangerous behavior patterns, their effects can be much more dramatic. Negative interactions are likely to have a greater impact than the small positive interactions and thus can outweigh a great number of them. 4. I would suppose so. I don't think it would be completely healthy though. I guess it would be ok if both couples were flooded with positive thoughts, but it could easily cause problems if one person could do no evil in the other's eyes. If it were mutual though, I think that both partners would be less likely to do anything to harm the other person. Although they may not have a completely realistic view of one another, it seems like they would be happy. It seems like this would be more difficult to develop though since negative events usually have such a significant impact.
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