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From: Ginny Naples
Date: 08 Apr 2006
Time: 12:00:30 -0500
Remote Name: 208.49.141.14
Unrequited Love: On Heartbreak, Anger, Guilt, Scriptlessness, and Humiliation. This article presents the two different individuals in an unrequited love situation. They are the rejectors who have someone's admiration but do not feel the same, and the would-be lovers, the individuals who are interested in someone without having the feelings reciprocated. The first study consisted of college students writing of a specific time in which they were either a would-be lover or a rejector. The results were taken in order to design a second study which would narrow in on certain feelings and validate some of the ideas gained from the first study. The studies found that the would-be lovers surprisingly had better ratings in areas such as positive emotions and had lower accounts of guilt and moral issues. The rejectors received higher ratings in the area of self esteem but lacked in each of the other categories. Baumeister et al. attributed this to the idea that the would-be lovers have something to gain out of the situation, and they had more positive feelings about the relationships even after they had been experienced. Rejectors, however, were placed in a lose-lose situation because they were asked to turn away love which is something that is not normal for any human to do. This could also be why they are the individuals who experience more feelings of guilt and moral issues. This entire interaction was based off of the interdependence model which stated that each individual's emotions and outcomes are a result of the other's acts. 1. Why do you think the rejector was the one who Baumeister et al. saw as having a lose-lose situation when they were the individuals who gained self esteem? Do you think that this should have been something considered when looking back on past unrequited love? 2. Have you ever been a rejector or a would-be lover and if so do you agree with the findings of the article? Why or why not? 3. There was an obvious sex difference in the males were more often the would-be lovers and women were the rejectors. Do you think that women would just be less likely to admit to the one sided feelings or do you feel that men are just naturally more likely to be the would-be lovers. 4. In table 4 on page 79 there was a significant difference in the percentage of would be lovers who thought the rejector led them on versus the amount of rejectors who felt that they led the would-be lovers on. Do you feel that this miscommunication is common today and this causes such would-be lovers to persist or do you think that would-be lovers see rejectors as leading them on simply because that is what they want to see? 5. Do you think that this study would be different if it was with a population other then university students in their early 20's? Why or why not?
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Date: 02 Aug 2007
Time: 09:51:27 -0500
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